Au revoir

It's currently 4:27 am.
I've been up since 3:08 am.
I got up, looked around for my ipod some more (realized at 10:30 pm last night that I hadn't seen it all day, searched for an hour an a half, couldn't find it, went to bed around midnight for 3 hours).
Did my AM yoga routine.
Got dressed. Looked for ipod more. Moved all luggage (and it's a lot - I mean, how do you pack for an adventure in which you have no idea what job you will have, or even in the end where you may be living) to the front room so I'd be ready to leave.
With an hour left before I had to go, I remembered there was only thing that I had on my list yesterday that I was unable to cross off - Find my GRE scores (not that I really want to, they are horrible, but some grad schools require them even if I don't want them to).
I thought "Well, maybe if I do this one last thing on my list I will find my ipod." (After having "ipod" literally be the last thing I was chanting to myself before I went to bed and have it on the back of my mind while trying to do yoga).
I go to the storage closet I created in my parent's basement (thanks Mom and Dad!) and look through some files.
Success, I find the GRE scores! I decide one last time to look through a bag I have looked through repeatedly, and Voi-La, there's my ipod. Now, I am ready to go. I wish I could say that all the nervousness disappeared about my trip once I found it; that I'd fixated all my anxiety about my life into this one corner of it, like, if I could find my ipod it would all be ok. And I felt exhilarated for about 30 seconds when I found it, and then my nervousness was back.

I woke up this morning wanting to vomit. Yoga was kinda a joke - "Let all your tension relax into the ground...." Yeah, not so much happening. But I did have this revelation while doing yoga: Every super-hero's power is a power but also a curse. You know, "with great power comes great responsibility" (name that comic book hero!). If I were a super hero, I think my power/curse is my anxiety. It pushes me to do great things, but it also causes me great sorrow.
That's my big insight for the day, and it's only 4:38 am.

And so, this is it folks. The 5:00 am train into the city, the 7:00 am bus up North. I am taking all the good will I can get, so wish me luck and send me good travel thoughts today!

P.S. - A belated shout out to my friend Michael, whose birthday was yesterday!