Monday, March 10, 2008

20-20-24 hours ago

Twenty-four hours ago I was in the same place. Not sleeping, not really knowing why. It seems easy enough to blame it on the time change, so I do. Knowing that if I stayed on YouTube I would get sucked into an endless blackhole of 5 minutes videos (did you know that there are people out there who put montages together of Josh & Donna from the West Wing? Not only do these montages exist, but people set them to music. And not only that, but there are even odder souls like myself who find and watch them! oh it's a sad sad cycle...)
So, after watching one or two of said "Josh & Donna" videos, I decided to write. I've been trying to keep this journal about goals, the idea being that if I write them down, even just some of the littlest things I want in life (like some new t-shirts and a good pair of shoes), that I can get better at obtaining those things/goals.
As I wrote I realized that I am in a place where I am creating new "norms." In group process it is said that there are certain stages to they way a group works. It starts out with forming, norming, storming, and performing. The beginning being that everyone is feeling each other out, seeing where the boundaries are, forming the said group. Then norms set it, where everyone has an idea what the roles and boundaries are. After that it's storming, where the group rebels against these set norms, and once a group has stormed and gotten through it, they usually re-norm/perform - they are on top of their game and working strong.
Anyways, in my own life, in the multiple characteristics that make up the group that is me, I think I'm in a forming of the norms stage. I just started this new job where I am feeling out the roles and boundaries of my position, of my schedule around this job. What are the patterns I am going to create around this life? I realized I wasn't really creating great patters for myself starting out my first week. Everything AT work was fine, fantastic in fact. But everything else around it was not.
So with the mantra of "forming new norms" in my head this morning, I tried a new outlook on my day. It's twenty-four hours later and I'm not really sure what headway I made. There were lots of things that made me pretty mad at the end of the day and I'm not really sure what to do with that energy. Write some more I guess. And of course realize that it's just one day. Starting norms for the long hall should, and certainly will, take a lot longer to actuallyimplement.

March 10, 2008
2.3581 miles

No comments: