I just got back from my first run in a week (for the most part, I did run once last week, but it was the worst ever). I went three miles, and it felt really good. My legs hurt for about the first mile, but my mind got caught up in other things on the run and I just kept going. This is how it is with exercise - I finally actually do it, and then think "wow, that was great, I need to do that more often". So, for the next week, I will hopefully have more blogs about how I went running. And I'm hoping to get back up to 5 miles too, I wanted to do five today, but I hadn't gone in a week and I didn't want to overdo it and have a horrible run. Better to ease back into it and have a good run, then go too far and not want to do it again.
oh, and post script - my ipod frove AGAIN (angry caps there by the way) at the very end of the run, so luckily i proably went 50 feet with no music, but I gotta get this figured out because I won't run if I don't have music.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
no running, but tv
*running: or lack there of really. This week - no running, only working. Really need to become better about making time in the day, and only doing short runs if that's all I have time for. Need to find motivation again cuz am so not feeling it right now. Feel as though I have officially fallen off the wagon.
TV: so, even though working a lot this week (which is going well by the way), I have watched some tv, and I have to say this:
A.) I love Heroes.
I.) I love that I can watch the recent Heros on my computer with only about 4 annoying commercials. LOVE IT.
II). I love Peter Patrelli, and if they kill him again, I will be upset. (although, really, who thought he was actually dead? No one, that's how obvious it was that he was going to come back).
III.) When will the number of powers that Sylar has come by finally start fucking with him. I can't wait for that.
IV.) I love Heroes.
B.). I also really enjoy Grey's Anatomy.
I.) I won't say that i LOVE it, because, it's not good television. Heroes - good television. Good characters, good actors, good plot line, always leaves me wanting more.
II.) Grey's has those things too, but not on the same level. It's good, and the characters can be interesting (but TOTALLY predictable), the plot is good (but again, and hard to distinguish from the characters, totally predictable).
III.) Like tonight's episode - predictable. Good, and interesting, but really, of course they were all happy about two weeks ago, and tonight all did things to utterly change their lives and happiness. This is because Grey's isn't a SHOW, it's a SOAP-OPERA ( i call it a sex-opera). of course george is leaving (really because addison is leaving and they need someone else to go on her new show), of course addison has sex with alex and is both are unhappy, and the biggest of course of all is that mcdreamy and meredith just can't seem to stay together for too long. There would be no sex-opera, sorry, I mean show, if they actually could just stay a couple.
IV.) Not that I didn't really love a couple scenes: Calli in the elevator talking to Izzie about how Callie knows there's nothing going on with Izzie and George (oh, but there is!) that they just get each other, etc, but what Callie needs is George to "get" her, etc. Oh, it was soo good. Maybe just cuz I love Calli (even with her dumb haircut).
a.) Also the scene where McDreamy tells Meredith that he can't keep breathing for her, that basically he can't be her everything (one could argue that he's not, she's got work, but really what he's saying is-) that she is/was depressed, and that when she didn't swim when she was drowning and he had to breath for her -ohhhh, such a good metaphor and just struck with me. It was good.
C.) Overall, love heroes, love scenes in grey's.
i've stopped with my use of capitals so it's probably time to get going as i've become lazy. If you lasted through this long about my rantings about tv shows - good for you!
TV: so, even though working a lot this week (which is going well by the way), I have watched some tv, and I have to say this:
A.) I love Heroes.
I.) I love that I can watch the recent Heros on my computer with only about 4 annoying commercials. LOVE IT.
II). I love Peter Patrelli, and if they kill him again, I will be upset. (although, really, who thought he was actually dead? No one, that's how obvious it was that he was going to come back).
III.) When will the number of powers that Sylar has come by finally start fucking with him. I can't wait for that.
IV.) I love Heroes.
B.). I also really enjoy Grey's Anatomy.
I.) I won't say that i LOVE it, because, it's not good television. Heroes - good television. Good characters, good actors, good plot line, always leaves me wanting more.
II.) Grey's has those things too, but not on the same level. It's good, and the characters can be interesting (but TOTALLY predictable), the plot is good (but again, and hard to distinguish from the characters, totally predictable).
III.) Like tonight's episode - predictable. Good, and interesting, but really, of course they were all happy about two weeks ago, and tonight all did things to utterly change their lives and happiness. This is because Grey's isn't a SHOW, it's a SOAP-OPERA ( i call it a sex-opera). of course george is leaving (really because addison is leaving and they need someone else to go on her new show), of course addison has sex with alex and is both are unhappy, and the biggest of course of all is that mcdreamy and meredith just can't seem to stay together for too long. There would be no sex-opera, sorry, I mean show, if they actually could just stay a couple.
IV.) Not that I didn't really love a couple scenes: Calli in the elevator talking to Izzie about how Callie knows there's nothing going on with Izzie and George (oh, but there is!) that they just get each other, etc, but what Callie needs is George to "get" her, etc. Oh, it was soo good. Maybe just cuz I love Calli (even with her dumb haircut).
a.) Also the scene where McDreamy tells Meredith that he can't keep breathing for her, that basically he can't be her everything (one could argue that he's not, she's got work, but really what he's saying is-) that she is/was depressed, and that when she didn't swim when she was drowning and he had to breath for her -ohhhh, such a good metaphor and just struck with me. It was good.
C.) Overall, love heroes, love scenes in grey's.
i've stopped with my use of capitals so it's probably time to get going as i've become lazy. If you lasted through this long about my rantings about tv shows - good for you!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
These past two weeks I've had serious motivation/running issues. Last week I did go three times, but it didn't feel like very much. And this week, ugh, it's Wednesday and I've gone once. It was yesterday, and I went to do 5 miles, sucked at the beginning and just when I was getting into it, my ipod froze. Now, I know I shouldn't just blame my ipod, but my focus and drive to do the run, just went down hill from there. I wasn't feeling well, and I was trying to shake it off with the run, but when my ipod froze, I just succumbed to it and walked the rest of the way. So Tuesday: ran 2.5, walked 2.5. I'm trying to throw myself a positive by saying at least I was outside for 5 miles.
Today was disastrous too. I substitute taught all day, and pumped myself up to go in an "off" period in the middle of the day. But of course, the best laid plans are always the ones foiled, and a meeting came up that I had to go to. Should have gone after school, but didn't. Brought my running stuff to town with me hoping I'd do it there, didn't. And tried to pump myself up to go for the last moments of twilight as I got back to school, but instead started writing this blog about not running, instead of running.
On other fronts of myself - I've helped edit three over 10 page papers (2 of them actually 20+) in the past 24 hours. One was for a friend/co-worker and the other two were for seniors who have their thesis' due at the end of the week. I have to say - I feel much smarter than I did yesterday. All three writers knew what they were talking about and I after reading their papers I felt more educated on the subjects they wrote about (self-injury in adolescents, ethics of international adoption, and the benefits of recycling). Plus, it feels good to be involved with the students academically.
I'm still feeling a little off though, I dunno if it's just physical, or just emotional, or both. Not sure where to go or end from that sentence, so am just going to overall stop.
Today was disastrous too. I substitute taught all day, and pumped myself up to go in an "off" period in the middle of the day. But of course, the best laid plans are always the ones foiled, and a meeting came up that I had to go to. Should have gone after school, but didn't. Brought my running stuff to town with me hoping I'd do it there, didn't. And tried to pump myself up to go for the last moments of twilight as I got back to school, but instead started writing this blog about not running, instead of running.
On other fronts of myself - I've helped edit three over 10 page papers (2 of them actually 20+) in the past 24 hours. One was for a friend/co-worker and the other two were for seniors who have their thesis' due at the end of the week. I have to say - I feel much smarter than I did yesterday. All three writers knew what they were talking about and I after reading their papers I felt more educated on the subjects they wrote about (self-injury in adolescents, ethics of international adoption, and the benefits of recycling). Plus, it feels good to be involved with the students academically.
I'm still feeling a little off though, I dunno if it's just physical, or just emotional, or both. Not sure where to go or end from that sentence, so am just going to overall stop.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
no running, only work
No running this weekend, only work.
I plan to run this week, but in the upcoming month, this "only work" theme might become, well, my life.
I've been feeling a bit unresolved lately. And I hate that feeling. I keeping feeling like I go around and around, and I'm not getting anywhere.
I don't do well with unresolved. I do well with lists, with plans, with expectations, with definitions and ideas. Living in the moment has never been easy for me, and living without resolution or without finite decisions, well, I feel uneasy. Unlike myself.
And I think that this may be why I have taken on SO much work for the next month. One thing, without fail that I have always done, is give 150 percent at my job, or at the very least appear to do so. My dad once pointed out to me, before I moved to Vermont for my first kinda "out of college" job, is that not only do I put in a 150 percent, but I pick jobs that require 150 percent. And over the next month I'm signed up for all these extra days of work, mostly because I really need the extra money, but maybe it's also a little bit of just throwing myself into something.
I keep telling myself, this is a good life lesson, a lesson about the other side of wheel (assuming I'm "on" one side of the wheel in my comfort zone, and this is forcing me to be in the other), that I'm being forced to deal with living in the here and now and live life as it comes. Another thing I'm always doing - looking for the silver lining.
I plan to run this week, but in the upcoming month, this "only work" theme might become, well, my life.
I've been feeling a bit unresolved lately. And I hate that feeling. I keeping feeling like I go around and around, and I'm not getting anywhere.
I don't do well with unresolved. I do well with lists, with plans, with expectations, with definitions and ideas. Living in the moment has never been easy for me, and living without resolution or without finite decisions, well, I feel uneasy. Unlike myself.
And I think that this may be why I have taken on SO much work for the next month. One thing, without fail that I have always done, is give 150 percent at my job, or at the very least appear to do so. My dad once pointed out to me, before I moved to Vermont for my first kinda "out of college" job, is that not only do I put in a 150 percent, but I pick jobs that require 150 percent. And over the next month I'm signed up for all these extra days of work, mostly because I really need the extra money, but maybe it's also a little bit of just throwing myself into something.
I keep telling myself, this is a good life lesson, a lesson about the other side of wheel (assuming I'm "on" one side of the wheel in my comfort zone, and this is forcing me to be in the other), that I'm being forced to deal with living in the here and now and live life as it comes. Another thing I'm always doing - looking for the silver lining.
Friday, April 20, 2007
nightmarish night-time tv
I just need to point out what a total wus I am:
I am sitting in the basement/common area of the dorm, watching tv - flipping channels, and I start watching Ghost Busters. Because, you know, you see Ghost Busters and you think :AWESOME, I totally remember this movie from when I was a kid. But then I start watching it, and the fun memories of Ghost Busters come back, but also the totally freaked out memories come back. The pink goo, the scary guy in the painting that becomes the baby, the really bad and yet still scary special effects of things in NYC train tunnels. These things should not really put me on edge, but they totally do. I am such a wus.
I had to flip the channel to a scary images of another kind: reality television and VH1's charm school for ex-flava flav girls. I'm sure to have night mares tonight now.
I am sitting in the basement/common area of the dorm, watching tv - flipping channels, and I start watching Ghost Busters. Because, you know, you see Ghost Busters and you think :AWESOME, I totally remember this movie from when I was a kid. But then I start watching it, and the fun memories of Ghost Busters come back, but also the totally freaked out memories come back. The pink goo, the scary guy in the painting that becomes the baby, the really bad and yet still scary special effects of things in NYC train tunnels. These things should not really put me on edge, but they totally do. I am such a wus.
I had to flip the channel to a scary images of another kind: reality television and VH1's charm school for ex-flava flav girls. I'm sure to have night mares tonight now.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
fighting
For the second time this week I went for a five mile run. Ok, it isn't QUITE five miles, it's 4.8 miles, but still, for all intensive purposes, it's a five mile run. Earlier this week, the run was great, even inspired me to start this blog. Today - not so much. Today was sunny, and a perfect "run" day, but I had to fight for it today. Fight to not just give it up and walk the whole thing.
I perfer to, and almost always, run by myself. I was thinking on this run, as I was hitting my stride in the middle and I was pumping myself up to keep going the thoughts hit me:
Stop beating yourself up about your speed
Stop beating yourself up about the time it takes
It's all about going the distance
For me it's all about upping my miliege, in about two months going from one mile to five.
And that's why I don't like running with other people; other people make me concious of my speed and time. And those aren't things I like to focus on.
Besides the run, earlier in the day I also meet with my boss's about working here next year (it went well), and worked with the Jr. class here at school (took them out to a meadow on a beautiful day, played fun games and gave everyone some quiet alone time). Oh, and I think today's run was a little harder too b/c I didn't do it till later in the day, so I was tired (early faculty meeting in the AM) and friends were waiting for me, so I felt pressure that there were things I had to do.
So overall, it should have been a good, productive day. But I'm still going to bed feeling a bit shitty, and I'm fighting those feelings like I was fighting for my run today - with fatigue.
I perfer to, and almost always, run by myself. I was thinking on this run, as I was hitting my stride in the middle and I was pumping myself up to keep going the thoughts hit me:
Stop beating yourself up about your speed
Stop beating yourself up about the time it takes
It's all about going the distance
For me it's all about upping my miliege, in about two months going from one mile to five.
And that's why I don't like running with other people; other people make me concious of my speed and time. And those aren't things I like to focus on.
Besides the run, earlier in the day I also meet with my boss's about working here next year (it went well), and worked with the Jr. class here at school (took them out to a meadow on a beautiful day, played fun games and gave everyone some quiet alone time). Oh, and I think today's run was a little harder too b/c I didn't do it till later in the day, so I was tired (early faculty meeting in the AM) and friends were waiting for me, so I felt pressure that there were things I had to do.
So overall, it should have been a good, productive day. But I'm still going to bed feeling a bit shitty, and I'm fighting those feelings like I was fighting for my run today - with fatigue.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
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