I haven't gone running since I bit the concrete and twisted my ankle, which was before the New Year and over a week ago.
The weather is so mild outside though today, I couldn't put off getting back on the running train any longer. I tried to put it off, I didn't go till 9 pm, but I did go. On my run tonight I had this idea:
I'm going to blog every time I run.
Even if all it that I say is that I went running, and how far I ran, than I will still do it.
A little public self-esteem boost to put it up on the internet.
I'm not really making any New Year's Resolutions this year. I mean, I'd like to eat better, and run more, and drink more water. But I want to do that every day, it hasn't intensified or decreased since the New Year, and I never stick to those resolutions, so I'm not doing them now.
So maybe this can be my resolution: I will blog every time I run.
And you can feel free to leave encouragement!
So, for January 5, 2008:
2.8797 miles
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Re-cap and move on
I've had this blog rolling around in my brain: a re-cap of 2007 type blog. But I can't seem to get myself to sit down and write it. So I'm just going to say this, which is the main point in my mind:
2007 wasn't really all that great.
I mean, there were high-lights, don't get me wrong. Katy and Jason's wedding was by-far the top event and most fun I had all year, most fun ever in a way. It will stand out brightly in my memory always.
And I got to go to Hawaii, for free. It was an amazing place, and the people I was with where great, but it will not stand out brightly, it was a tainted trip. Still, Hawaii for free makes onto the high lights list.
I also got to spend more time with one of my fav people, Greer. Not many people get to live in the same place as one of their best-friends, and I've gotten to do it twice.
So, wedding, hawaii, friends. And then a whole lot of anxiety, fighting, questioning, tears, mixed into that. And not just this summer, I mean, the whole year. There was a whole lot of growth and self-knowledge and all those great things that come out of the not-so-great stuff in life. But still, mixed in with those life-lessons are not-so-great things. So it feels like a toss up.
In the end, what I want to say is: 2007 wasn't really all that great, in fact, beyond the high-lights, I believe I've been quoted as saying it "sucked ass". And I believe that 2008, will be, well, great. (I mean, come on people, it even rhymes!). There's a lot of potential and general up-swing to be had this year, and I can't wait.
2007 wasn't really all that great.
I mean, there were high-lights, don't get me wrong. Katy and Jason's wedding was by-far the top event and most fun I had all year, most fun ever in a way. It will stand out brightly in my memory always.
And I got to go to Hawaii, for free. It was an amazing place, and the people I was with where great, but it will not stand out brightly, it was a tainted trip. Still, Hawaii for free makes onto the high lights list.
I also got to spend more time with one of my fav people, Greer. Not many people get to live in the same place as one of their best-friends, and I've gotten to do it twice.
So, wedding, hawaii, friends. And then a whole lot of anxiety, fighting, questioning, tears, mixed into that. And not just this summer, I mean, the whole year. There was a whole lot of growth and self-knowledge and all those great things that come out of the not-so-great stuff in life. But still, mixed in with those life-lessons are not-so-great things. So it feels like a toss up.
In the end, what I want to say is: 2007 wasn't really all that great, in fact, beyond the high-lights, I believe I've been quoted as saying it "sucked ass". And I believe that 2008, will be, well, great. (I mean, come on people, it even rhymes!). There's a lot of potential and general up-swing to be had this year, and I can't wait.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Back on the horse, and then falling off of it
Tuesday I went for a run, and while it was all well and good at the time, it wasn't a particularly long run, and the next day I felt terrible. Yesterday I tried to go for a run again, and it was a disaster. Not only did I not get too far, I walked most of it back home.
So, back on the horse today. I figure, you know, even though it's 9 pm, it's not like I'm going to bed any time soon, nor is it any darker than it was 6 hours ago.
The run is going fine, I've gone pretty far, I'm pushing myself pretty well. It had started out not so great with my underestimating how cold the air was, therefore my un-mittened hands were freezing. But being the running genius that I am, I put my hat on my hands until I'd run enough that the blood was pumping and they were hot.
Also, I was excited because with the new snow, I finally had a chance to try out my Christmas present: shoe grippers, to give traction to my feet and keep me from falling.
No luck. There I am, over two miles into my run, about a mile to go, and one miss step. I think I must have stepped on the edge of the sidewalk and my ankle just bends in a way it shouldn't have and down I go, belly flop onto concrete.
Luckily, this is the one time I had my cell phone on me (and even more luckily it didn't break, seeing as I fell right onto it while it was in my hip pocket), and I called my folks. It didn't really hurt too much at the time, and I walked a little bit down the road till my dad came in got me.
But now it just hurts like hell, and it figures that even though I hate running on the sidewalk, but I do it anyways for safety, I hurt myself. And the first time I use this grippers so I don't fall, I hit the pavement.
I'm so excited for this week to be over. Maybe in the New Year I will be a more proficient and graceful runner.
So, back on the horse today. I figure, you know, even though it's 9 pm, it's not like I'm going to bed any time soon, nor is it any darker than it was 6 hours ago.
The run is going fine, I've gone pretty far, I'm pushing myself pretty well. It had started out not so great with my underestimating how cold the air was, therefore my un-mittened hands were freezing. But being the running genius that I am, I put my hat on my hands until I'd run enough that the blood was pumping and they were hot.
Also, I was excited because with the new snow, I finally had a chance to try out my Christmas present: shoe grippers, to give traction to my feet and keep me from falling.
No luck. There I am, over two miles into my run, about a mile to go, and one miss step. I think I must have stepped on the edge of the sidewalk and my ankle just bends in a way it shouldn't have and down I go, belly flop onto concrete.
Luckily, this is the one time I had my cell phone on me (and even more luckily it didn't break, seeing as I fell right onto it while it was in my hip pocket), and I called my folks. It didn't really hurt too much at the time, and I walked a little bit down the road till my dad came in got me.
But now it just hurts like hell, and it figures that even though I hate running on the sidewalk, but I do it anyways for safety, I hurt myself. And the first time I use this grippers so I don't fall, I hit the pavement.
I'm so excited for this week to be over. Maybe in the New Year I will be a more proficient and graceful runner.
Holiday Week...
It's been a couple days now, but I've been meaning to post about Christmas Eve since, well, since Christmas Eve. But since it has now been a little while, all of the flowery poetry I'd use to describe it has dissipated, so I'll just do a little recap of actual "eve" events:
*Getting to see friends
*Having Christmas dinner (turkey, mashed potatoes, green-beans and all) with family
*Opening presents and getting, and giving everything I wanted.
*Getting to see more of friends and family
*Going to Church and having a candle - lighting service.
All of my favorite things to do on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Day, was ok. It was a weird year, with so much family away right now, but I did go for an hour long walk with my mom and then for a hour long run. Which was great, but has left me kinda a wreck the rest of the week and it's been hard to get back on the running band-wagon, even with all my nice running-gear presents.
Time spent not running has been spent feeding my addiction to "House" dvds (although now I've watch them all, and have to just sit and wait for the next season to come out on dvd...) and knitting. I'd write what I've knitted, but they are presents that
haven't been given yet, but remind me and I'll put pictures up of them soon. I've been knitting so much though, that the joke in my house right now is that I'm not going to get a job - I'm just going to sit in my basement knitting away and selling my work on theinternet. Hopefully though, this is just a joke, and will not turn into a reality.
Benazir Bhutto was assassinated yesterday. I'm not trying to make a political statement on Pakistan or anything of that nature. To be honest, I didn't even really know who she was until the whole deal withMusharaff took place two months ago and she came back to Pakistan. But through-out that whole ordeal, and really, what continues to go on there, I likedBhutoo. I liked hearing her speak, and hearing this woman's voice in the political landscape, and I'm sad that she's gone.
It feels weird to write something beyond that, but I know there was something else I was going to blog about....Oh yes, the upcoming week. I'm looking forward to getting to see more of my friends; we always have a such a great time together, and I'm thrilled to see what comes of the next couple days. Not to mention, I'm ready to usher in the New Year. This blog is pretty long already, so I'll wait for a "Year in Review" blog till later, but for now I'm very excited to spend a weekend with friends and see 2008 arrive.
*Getting to see friends
*Having Christmas dinner (turkey, mashed potatoes, green-beans and all) with family
*Opening presents and getting, and giving everything I wanted.
*Getting to see more of friends and family
*Going to Church and having a candle - lighting service.
All of my favorite things to do on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Day, was ok. It was a weird year, with so much family away right now, but I did go for an hour long walk with my mom and then for a hour long run. Which was great, but has left me kinda a wreck the rest of the week and it's been hard to get back on the running band-wagon, even with all my nice running-gear presents.
Time spent not running has been spent feeding my addiction to "House" dvds (although now I've watch them all, and have to just sit and wait for the next season to come out on dvd...) and knitting. I'd write what I've knitted, but they are presents that
haven't been given yet, but remind me and I'll put pictures up of them soon. I've been knitting so much though, that the joke in my house right now is that I'm not going to get a job - I'm just going to sit in my basement knitting away and selling my work on theinternet. Hopefully though, this is just a joke, and will not turn into a reality.
Benazir Bhutto was assassinated yesterday. I'm not trying to make a political statement on Pakistan or anything of that nature. To be honest, I didn't even really know who she was until the whole deal withMusharaff took place two months ago and she came back to Pakistan. But through-out that whole ordeal, and really, what continues to go on there, I likedBhutoo. I liked hearing her speak, and hearing this woman's voice in the political landscape, and I'm sad that she's gone.
It feels weird to write something beyond that, but I know there was something else I was going to blog about....Oh yes, the upcoming week. I'm looking forward to getting to see more of my friends; we always have a such a great time together, and I'm thrilled to see what comes of the next couple days. Not to mention, I'm ready to usher in the New Year. This blog is pretty long already, so I'll wait for a "Year in Review" blog till later, but for now I'm very excited to spend a weekend with friends and see 2008 arrive.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Two Notes
1.) It took me all week to go again, but I just went running again. It's so mild, the perfect weather for a run. Ironic that I now go running around the Vita Course - the track around the baseball, football, tennis, and soccer fields of the local high school. I would get yelled at in high school for walking it and not even trying to run. Now, I run it without walking.
2.) I'm posting this link to NPR's Fresh Air from Wednesday. I caught most of it when it first aired and found it really interesting. Not only because I'm excited for the Paul Thomas Anderson, Daniel Day Lewis, and Paul Dano film "There Will Be Blood." Also for the "Years Best Books." But most especially for Fresh Air's rock critic (and Entertainment Weekly editor) Ken Tucker's segment "A Cristic Assesses The Year in Rehab (Er, Rock)". I think the segment is very succinct.
For awhile I have wondered at my own draw to crappy pop music. I know it's no good, I know it's not great music. However, I can't get enough. I was struck though, with the honesty of Tucker and felt he got it right on with this:
".... But all of these young performers had what all of too much of rock and hip-hop lacked this year: an un-ironic emotionalism, an open heartedness, and an interest in really figuring out what it means to be in love."
Not to mention that the rock group he does praise, Fiery Furnaces, sounds pretty interesting.
2.) I'm posting this link to NPR's Fresh Air from Wednesday. I caught most of it when it first aired and found it really interesting. Not only because I'm excited for the Paul Thomas Anderson, Daniel Day Lewis, and Paul Dano film "There Will Be Blood." Also for the "Years Best Books." But most especially for Fresh Air's rock critic (and Entertainment Weekly editor) Ken Tucker's segment "A Cristic Assesses The Year in Rehab (Er, Rock)". I think the segment is very succinct.
For awhile I have wondered at my own draw to crappy pop music. I know it's no good, I know it's not great music. However, I can't get enough. I was struck though, with the honesty of Tucker and felt he got it right on with this:
".... But all of these young performers had what all of too much of rock and hip-hop lacked this year: an un-ironic emotionalism, an open heartedness, and an interest in really figuring out what it means to be in love."
Not to mention that the rock group he does praise, Fiery Furnaces, sounds pretty interesting.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Ouch
I feel like I've turned a corner with my job anxiety, really. I feel like I may be letting go a little and just kinda relaxing.
Except, that my anxiety is so deeply rooted in my being, that it peeks out without my even being aware of it. The night before last my mind was conjuring up this stressful dream (it wasn't a nightmare, but it was stressful and was about to turn this corner and go down the road of nightmare) and it's like my brain went "Nope, we're not even going there" and woke me up. Except, it woke me up to the state of not being able to sleep again, at 5:30 am.
Last night, it was at 4:00 am. Just, suddenly awake; hearing every creek and noise in my house. My over active imagination runs wild with these noises (really, you think after living here for a life time I would have gotten used to them, but I guess that's what three years away does).
Tonight, I'm just hoping my brain lets me sleep through the night.
On the upside: Twice this week, once while it was snowing and once in the bitter cold, I went running over 3.5 miles. Go me!
(I was thinking of going again tonight, but then stepped outside and promptly fell on my ass. So hard I knocked my glasses off my head. Ouch. If the black ice is so bad I can't get off the front steps I probably shouldn't be running....)
Except, that my anxiety is so deeply rooted in my being, that it peeks out without my even being aware of it. The night before last my mind was conjuring up this stressful dream (it wasn't a nightmare, but it was stressful and was about to turn this corner and go down the road of nightmare) and it's like my brain went "Nope, we're not even going there" and woke me up. Except, it woke me up to the state of not being able to sleep again, at 5:30 am.
Last night, it was at 4:00 am. Just, suddenly awake; hearing every creek and noise in my house. My over active imagination runs wild with these noises (really, you think after living here for a life time I would have gotten used to them, but I guess that's what three years away does).
Tonight, I'm just hoping my brain lets me sleep through the night.
On the upside: Twice this week, once while it was snowing and once in the bitter cold, I went running over 3.5 miles. Go me!
(I was thinking of going again tonight, but then stepped outside and promptly fell on my ass. So hard I knocked my glasses off my head. Ouch. If the black ice is so bad I can't get off the front steps I probably shouldn't be running....)
Monday, December 17, 2007
December 12 - Dec. 16.
The Scene:
Me in my long black puffy coat with giant backpack on my back; yoga mat strapped to it and all, giant duffle bag at my feet along with two bags in my hands, standing in front of the customs officer-lady.
Customs Officer: How long where you in Canada?
Me: About 10 days.
CO: What were you doing there?
Me: Visiting friends
CO: How do you know these friends?
Me: I used to work in Northern Ontario at a camp in the summers, and I know them from that job, we worked there together.
CO: And where are you going?
Me: Back to Chicago.
CO: Where do you live?
Me: Outside Chicago, the suburbs.
CO: And what do you do there?
Me: I’m currently unemployed.
Sitting in the back of a cab at 5 a.m. going from bus station to train station:
Cabbie: So you moving or something?
Me: Yes.
Cabbie: Where you coming from?
Me: Toronto
Cabbie: Toronto, huh? How long where you there?
Me: I’ve been gone about a month
Cabbie: A month? That’s nothing, that’s a vacation!
Me: Yeah, I know.
I’ve been back in Chicago for a couple days now. It has taken some adjusting. One major adjustment was moving back into my parent’s house. Even bigger was moving back into the basement.
It’s hard not to feel a little deja-vu coming back here. The last time I lived in this room, I had just graduated college. I was unemployed – then working two part time jobs, I was looking into graduate school for library science (just as I am now).
I know, I know, I can’t discount the past three years. But I can’t help but feel like I’m back where I started. Granted, the last time I lived in this room I also fell in love - and trust me, ain’t been easy dispelling those ghosts from this place - and found a job that I stayed at for two years. So, for being a starting point, it has workded out for me before. So, a trip to Ikeas and two days later, I’ve got my little corner, my little plot of land, a place in the world.
Another adjustment is to being unemployed. Being unemployed and being back in my parent’s basement, well, I’ve had to watch myself to keep depression at bay. Again – adjustment, and acceptance. And just trying to “be here now”. It ain’t easy for me.
If nothing else this whole experience is teaching me a lot about myself.
I need a reason for everything. (Ohh, self realization #3,408,621: Probably a contributing factor in how difficult seems to be to get over the ex-boyfriend. Sure, there were lots of reasons, but in the end – it just didn’t work. And the fact that love can just fade like that: very, very hard to accept). I need to have reasons for why this happens, for why that happens. And finding the greater “life-lessons” to bring to my current unemployment and living situation, to give it meaning, is very hard to see this close up to it.
So, I do yoga.
I run.
And I am trying my best to just put my head on my desk and take a minute.
Me in my long black puffy coat with giant backpack on my back; yoga mat strapped to it and all, giant duffle bag at my feet along with two bags in my hands, standing in front of the customs officer-lady.
Customs Officer: How long where you in Canada?
Me: About 10 days.
CO: What were you doing there?
Me: Visiting friends
CO: How do you know these friends?
Me: I used to work in Northern Ontario at a camp in the summers, and I know them from that job, we worked there together.
CO: And where are you going?
Me: Back to Chicago.
CO: Where do you live?
Me: Outside Chicago, the suburbs.
CO: And what do you do there?
Me: I’m currently unemployed.
Sitting in the back of a cab at 5 a.m. going from bus station to train station:
Cabbie: So you moving or something?
Me: Yes.
Cabbie: Where you coming from?
Me: Toronto
Cabbie: Toronto, huh? How long where you there?
Me: I’ve been gone about a month
Cabbie: A month? That’s nothing, that’s a vacation!
Me: Yeah, I know.
I’ve been back in Chicago for a couple days now. It has taken some adjusting. One major adjustment was moving back into my parent’s house. Even bigger was moving back into the basement.
It’s hard not to feel a little deja-vu coming back here. The last time I lived in this room, I had just graduated college. I was unemployed – then working two part time jobs, I was looking into graduate school for library science (just as I am now).
I know, I know, I can’t discount the past three years. But I can’t help but feel like I’m back where I started. Granted, the last time I lived in this room I also fell in love - and trust me, ain’t been easy dispelling those ghosts from this place - and found a job that I stayed at for two years. So, for being a starting point, it has workded out for me before. So, a trip to Ikeas and two days later, I’ve got my little corner, my little plot of land, a place in the world.
Another adjustment is to being unemployed. Being unemployed and being back in my parent’s basement, well, I’ve had to watch myself to keep depression at bay. Again – adjustment, and acceptance. And just trying to “be here now”. It ain’t easy for me.
If nothing else this whole experience is teaching me a lot about myself.
I need a reason for everything. (Ohh, self realization #3,408,621: Probably a contributing factor in how difficult seems to be to get over the ex-boyfriend. Sure, there were lots of reasons, but in the end – it just didn’t work. And the fact that love can just fade like that: very, very hard to accept). I need to have reasons for why this happens, for why that happens. And finding the greater “life-lessons” to bring to my current unemployment and living situation, to give it meaning, is very hard to see this close up to it.
So, I do yoga.
I run.
And I am trying my best to just put my head on my desk and take a minute.
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